Facebookin' for the Mentally Ill
Alright, so the title of this post is a little harsh, but I'd like to think that there's some humour to my flow, right? I'm writing about something that is the very essence of a love/hate relationship: Facebook. I just rejoined FB after an eight month hiatus and I'm feeling two things. First, joy to see everyone again that I just don't keep in touch with via email or other social media platforms (c'mon ya'll, we know that Twitter is where I figure out what Wil Wheaton is having for lunch). Second, absolute (and I'm working on this one, so don't get sassy) disdain with myself for succumbing to the pratfalls of this particular social media platform. Let's face it, LinkedIn is fine for your work friends, and email is good for your coupons and amazon order tracking numbers, but FB is ideal for keeping in touch with relatives whose phone numbers you've misplaced or never had, and those friends from high school and college that you kind of know, but you're certainly not going to go to their painting party or anything.
Two years ago I could barely stand to see people's happy statuses talking about their kids, cars, houses, marriages, pets, etc., because I was completely swamped with depression and anxiety. I constantly compared myself to these people and their seemingly endless fortune. I griped on and on about how if I had only been in the right place at the right time that I, too, would have these things in my life. The truth is, is that until I got better...I wouldn't have the things that I wanted, nor would I appreciate the things that I already had.
Two years later and with a few bumps in the road, I feel like I'm getting to the point where I'm mentally prepared to deal with FB for it's intended purposes, rather than as a cesspool for self-loathing and despair (then again, maybe that's what Zuckerberg had in mind all along and I'm hip to his dastardly plans). I genuinely feel love for the people in my life that I haven't seen in years and even those people that have wronged me in the past. I have compassion for people's plights. I genuinely want to see pictures of your kid's first haircut! This kind of love does come with a Warrior Goddess lesson though: learning to say no.
When I say learning to say no, I mean really saying no to a cycle of bad social media behavior: getting political with your cousins, ranting and raving about your job, reposting everything that your favorite religious figure/celebrity/internet sensation posts. It's unfriending your aunt that makes you angry because she's always posting her opinion about the President, or your friend from college that distresses you with her constant asking for donations for every charity this side of the mason-dixon line. Basically, like life outside the internet, you have to make a conscious decision to stop toxic people from affecting you, even if it means that you'll miss those throw-back Thursday photos or the occasional funny meme. Learning to say no is SO hard for someone like me that strove for years to try to make sure that everyone was comfortable and sound at the expense of my own satisfaction, but each day, I'm learning to put myself first. Let's face it...it rules.
I was emailing with a friend today whose opinion I really appreciate and cherish. In our talk about loving ourselves, she really hit the nail on the head. "...we need to dig deeper and learn to love ourselves when we're alone in the quiet." Sometimes, when you're alone reading countless good fortune posts from your FB friends, you can easily get down the rathole of self-hatred and comparison, but if you're able to rise about it and still love yourself with reckless abandon, then get it girl! And post that shit on Facebook!
Two years later and with a few bumps in the road, I feel like I'm getting to the point where I'm mentally prepared to deal with FB for it's intended purposes, rather than as a cesspool for self-loathing and despair (then again, maybe that's what Zuckerberg had in mind all along and I'm hip to his dastardly plans). I genuinely feel love for the people in my life that I haven't seen in years and even those people that have wronged me in the past. I have compassion for people's plights. I genuinely want to see pictures of your kid's first haircut! This kind of love does come with a Warrior Goddess lesson though: learning to say no.
When I say learning to say no, I mean really saying no to a cycle of bad social media behavior: getting political with your cousins, ranting and raving about your job, reposting everything that your favorite religious figure/celebrity/internet sensation posts. It's unfriending your aunt that makes you angry because she's always posting her opinion about the President, or your friend from college that distresses you with her constant asking for donations for every charity this side of the mason-dixon line. Basically, like life outside the internet, you have to make a conscious decision to stop toxic people from affecting you, even if it means that you'll miss those throw-back Thursday photos or the occasional funny meme. Learning to say no is SO hard for someone like me that strove for years to try to make sure that everyone was comfortable and sound at the expense of my own satisfaction, but each day, I'm learning to put myself first. Let's face it...it rules.
I was emailing with a friend today whose opinion I really appreciate and cherish. In our talk about loving ourselves, she really hit the nail on the head. "...we need to dig deeper and learn to love ourselves when we're alone in the quiet." Sometimes, when you're alone reading countless good fortune posts from your FB friends, you can easily get down the rathole of self-hatred and comparison, but if you're able to rise about it and still love yourself with reckless abandon, then get it girl! And post that shit on Facebook!
Comments
Post a Comment