Being a Warrior Goddess while You're Working

I had this strange experience at work a few weeks ago where I was privy to a very disrespectful situation involving a co-worker lashing out at another co-worker on a weekly conference call. This situation was so distressing to me that I'm still thinking about it and my other co-workers are still talking about it almost daily. Although work etiquette stipulates that you don't speak to people disrespectfully and heatedly at work (at least, my personal work etiquette does), this confrontation went way beyond the bounds of work etiquette to pushing the boundaries of interpersonal etiquette to their total limits.

The first thing that I felt was anger for having been exposed to that kind of awkward anger in a professional environment. A total bevy of thoughts like, "hasn't your mother taught you any better," rushed through my head at the speed of sound. Even a week later I continued to be flabbergasted at this person, so much so that I told my boss that I didn't want to be a part of that weekly conference call anymore and be subjected to that kind of harassment. 

Then, I met Heatherash Amara.

In my previous writing on Frou Frou Shit, I spoke a bit about don Miguel Ruiz and his life-changing book, "The Four Agreements," and I've already managed to mention it in the first posts of The Brilliance of Resilience. Heatherash Amara is a student-turned-peer of don Miguel that came to the past weekend retreat and shared some of her teachings about being a Warrior Goddess, and listen y'all when I tell you that that hour and a half changed my life. Her press release states, "Direct, honest, and unapologetic, Amara teaches women how to release layers of self-judgment and societal expectations and cultivate the authentic, perceptive, and perfect goddess they already are." Through Heatherash's personal experiences, I caught a glimpse of such profound peace and radiance that I felt my own energy changing before she was even finished speaking. I HAD to buy her book.

I bought the book after her talk on Saturday (She signed it!!!!) and I'm about 1/3 of the way through as of Tuesday night. This is profound for someone that hasn't read a book completely (adult onset ADD is a bitch) since "The Four Agreements." Already, I'm learning to look at this work situation (and really all work situations) through the lens of the Warrior Goddess that I am capable of becoming.

First, this co-worker is guilty of really only breaking an agreement that I had presupposed about how people are to act in the workplace, and that's my problem...not hers. My agreements about being nice to people are those that I have cultivated in my own mind and that doesn't mean that other people are going to follow them. Second, the anger that she feels really has nothing to do with me and everything to do with her and the way that she talks to herself. Why am I taking it personally? Third, life is about ebbs and flows, and being a Warrior Goddess is about having the courage to deal with those things that you've cultivated with your intent and those things that you haven't.

Although my work is not exactly the most soul-enriching environment that I've ever encountered (clearly), I'm learning to take the gifts that it does afford: health insurance that allows me to see a therapist once a week, lots of vacation days and a flexible schedule; and learning to deal with the things that I once deemed as "soul-crushing," as a resume line on a career path that is still unfolding in the woman that I am destined to become. Let me tell you...that this mindset does not come easily and I am constantly working through the self-talk that tries to tell me about my failures and my setbacks at this age (What do you mean you're 32 and you're living with your parents? You should have your own house and have your student loans paid off! I can't believe that you're still singing the same song that you did ten years ago!). Heatherash, in that short time last Saturday, taught me to put a period after this kind of talk and reassess. This clarified a few things for me. First, don Miguel had said, "to live in the space between two sentences," and I never really understood the practical application of that sentiment. Second, it reassured me that even someone that's embodied being a Warrior Goddess still struggles with that voice.

Not only have I escaped the anger that allowed me to hold onto this event two weeks, but I've also learned to free myself from being under the thumb of my agreement about how people should react to certain situations...at least, for a little while. These gifts are so crucial to becoming a Warrior Goddess.