On Strength and De-legitimizing Pain and Abuse
When people find out about the things that have happened in my past or the struggles that I have had with mental illness, I often hear that I am a strong person. These are compliments. Sort of. When those around me believe I am strong, I think, there is a subconscious level of permission that they give themselves to not worry about my emotional state when they do and say things. That if I outwardly emoted all that was within, they would feel compelled to be kinder, more sensitive people that thought through the words and actions that they chose when it involved me. Or, they would avoid me all together because my emotions would make them uncomfortable. This is the ultimate paradox that is only amplified when you are in an abusive situation or scenarios that cause consistent emotional pain. I had a situation at work a few weeks ago where I was bullied after bringing a comment to light that I felt was inappropriate or something of note. My character was called out for bringing...